How to construct an argument

I think I have been able to distill the fundamental approach to argument making used by many current undergraduate students.

The whole things boils down to a simple two step process.

Step 1: Define a term

Start by defining a term very poorly. To make this most of it you probably want to omit a few key components of the definition.

Example: A lady is something that has hair, legs, breasts, and a circulatory system.

Step 2: Identify an object

You then want to identify something that has these characteristics. Whether or not the entity should be labelled in this way is besides the point. Of course, once the faulty association between the term and the object has been made no effort should be made to confirm whether or not this position conflicts with the common understanding of either the terms or the objects in question.

Example: Gandhi had hair, legs, breasts, and a circulatory system. It has been conclusively proven that Gandhi is a lady.

Voila, you're done. You now have yourself the basis of your term paper. Add a little repetition and a snappy conclusion and you have your final product. That didn't take very long did it?